John's Balitaan

Speaking of moving on...

2005-11-02T11:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I hardly maintain this site. My xanga site at http://www.xanga.com/katipunero is maintained on a more frequent basis.

I'll keep maintaing the hay(na)ku's from here however over at http://johnaku.blogspot.com.

Ingat!

John

Moving On...

2004-12-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me how I was doing.

I replied, 'you breathe in, you breathe out, you place one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, you're moving on...'

Dunno, I feel like Tom Hanks from Sleepless in Seattle. ;)

Catharsis for John

2004-12-13T01:24:00.000-08:00

I broke up with Karen today... After 2 1/2 years, we called it quits. I guess we were both tired and frustrated with trying to keep this relationship afloat... Too many differences/understandings I suppose... Too much alike and too opposite... And I suppose the distance on our relationship put even further strains on what tenuous hold we both had on it. Like a festering pustle, it was ready to explode (haha!)

I feel free and unburdened yet I also feel this emptiness inside, this hollowed-out cavity...

I dunno, I think it's cathartic for me, writing this out, sharing my feelings, cleaning my slate I guess.

It's good to reflect and remember the great times but it's just as important to look towards the bright horizon of my own future...

And besides, I need to concentrate on school (well, atleast, that's what I keep telling myself!)

Thanks for listening...

~ John-Vincent

*****

Well, the semester is almost over (12/20), time to grab a beer with Jeff, Shaq, and Lisa...

Musings from a Filipina

2004-11-22T01:10:00.000-08:00

(This pice was written by Leny Strobel and appeared in the Philippine News back in 1994. Helps me to cope with my own identity issues. They're far from being solved but every bit counts...)

Musings from a Filipina

I am a Filipina in the United States
But sometimes I am a Filipino American
Sometimes I am Asian or Asian American
Sometimes a woman with no affixes.

I endure many labels I have not chosen for myself
I live in many spaces, but mostly in the in-between
Of many different worlds.

To be a Filipina is to struggle to define my identity and space
Amidst the confusion arising from being colonized
And being split into pieces

To be a Filipina is to speak with my own voice even when
I am afraid there is no one else who will hear it
It is to allow myself to be angry over the injustice of the past
And the tyranny of the present

It is to mourn with others who have awakened
To grieve for the past that I have never known
To call back the memories of my ancestors
And beg them to impart their soul
In this barren landscape where my self is constantly stripped away.

I resist the myths and categories
I reject boundaries
I invade spaces where before I was excluded
The margins do not hold me captive.

To be a Filipina is to remember
The other Filipino women scattered around the world
Caring for other people's babies, cleaning other people's houses
But not their own
Displaced, disheartened
But full of courage, holding on to shreds of dignity left
If any

To be a Filipina is to recreate myself
To dream of a space where I am not alone
To imagine healing not only of myself
But of the culture that has been ravised
By centuries of other-ing

It is to gather the pieces and weave them into a beautiful tapestry
Glued together by the song I have always heard in the
Silence, in the remote corner of my heart
Where the ancient never died.

To be a Filipina is to rejoice that I am a woman
And I have many sisters and brothers
They who also remember their roots
Traditions, the values from the old world
The secrets of their mothers and their ancestors
Holding things together.

To be a Filipina is to be on a journey
That never arrives, never ends
A fork in the road divides and splits
Always aching to be made whole

I live by forgiving even as I fight daily
I live by claiming power, reclaiming the lost voice
By calling the wandering soul home
To the bosom of those I love and those who love me
Because of my color, in spite of my color
Because of my gender, in spite of my gender
Because of my creed, in spite of my creed
Because of who I am, in spite of who I am.

Public Speaking Sucks

2004-11-22T01:06:00.000-08:00

Man, I got blasted... I felt like Pearl Harbor, so many bombs dropped on me. My confidence is shattered! No more public speaking for me! :P

My First Niece/Nephew

2004-11-22T01:02:00.000-08:00

I received a call from my brother. He said it doesn't look good for his baby. Something about the skull nor forming right which means the brain is growing out where the skull is not formed...

Doctors say there's nothing they can do. I told my brother not to blame himself. I suggested a second and third opinion. I have a feeling that they will say the same thing. I hope my brother will think about the quality of life for him and his wife and the child should they decide to keep it and if it happens to survive.

It's a tough choice for him, it's his first kid... My first niece/nephew...

The Ring of Power

2004-11-21T23:59:00.000-08:00

One Ring to rule them,
One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them,
And in the darkness them.

Well, strangest thing happened. The I could have sworn I lost my Lord of the Rings ring at my friends wedding almost 2 months ago. However when I was doing my laundry the other day, there it was...

Well, not in the laundry but actually on the ground behind me when I went to walk out of the laundry room. I'm sure it was in one of my pockets but I would have noticed before since the clothes I was washing were washed at the least 3-4 times...

Bizzare... Well, at least my precious is back. Nasty hobitses...

Sakit na Loob

2004-11-15T13:21:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess I was in my own funk as well over the past few weeks...

I'm glad I attended the symposium on Sunday because several chords
hit me and allowed me to be more introspective about what I'm
searching for:

1) Identity for one. I'm just exhausted about trying too damn hard at
being Filipino. Some things that Christina said about Filipinos and
community service struck me... How down are you as a Filipino (I even
have the little flag on my mirror she mentioned!)... Sometimes I
think I want to help out the Filipino community because it helps me
to 'look' more Filipino? And that's the wrong answer. I should help
out the Filipino community because they are PEOPLE in need, not an
identity crutch for myself. Sayang! I have to admit to myself that no
matter how Filipino I act, I'll never look Filipino... Live with it
and accept it.

2) Soul searching... What do I want out of my existence? I'm here
only for a short time so I need to make the most of my visit...
Relationships, personal development, community development, growth
spiritually as well as mentally as well as physically... So I think I
have been sick, just not physically, but in regards to my personal
wellbeing... Sick because I've been surrounded by this miasma of
negative energy and only after realizing it myself has it been slowly
dissipating.

So I apologize to you my friends for the burden I've placed on you.
The troubles and doubts about me. I really don't mean to worry you.
These are just my own evil spirits I need to exorcise myself of...

Good ol' Boys

2004-11-04T11:11:00.000-08:00

Just a random thought here...

Why does it feel like the Dukes of Hazard are running our country?

Cheney looks like Boss Hog and Bush looks like Roscoe P. Coltrain...

Fun with pie charts...

2004-11-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

Well, my sentiments exactly...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/43262847.html

A 'Dear President' Letter

2004-11-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

the following was borrowed from peopleneedlives's xanga site. judging from this person's interests, he/she seems pretty damned stellar to me.

Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you and try to share that knowledge with asmany people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

this is for those people who use parts of the bible as their sole reason for purporting that lesbians and gays shouldn't have rights. you can't interpret some parts of the bible literally (things that work to your advantage), while interpreting other parts metaphorically or by simply dismissing them (things that work against you). that, my friends, is called BULLSHIT.

What went wrong?

2004-11-03T15:52:00.000-08:00

Another stolen election... I swear, this country better not EVEN intervent with another country's election process because our own is so screwed up...

> Crying my anger out with all these 'stupid
> Americans'

Also known as moonshine swillin' NASCAR watching crackers who think it's more important to ban same sex marriages rather than address their issues of Bush-sponsored unemployment-ism and poverty.

Thank you, you close-minded right wing inbred evangelical f***tards...

Because I really don't know if I should be laughing or crying in disbelief...

4 more years of war, terror, and fear... *sigh*

Creating Titles and Programs

2004-10-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I've had a fun time with our latest project planning class which was on goals, objectives and processes for creating public health programs. The best part is planning out the title I think. I wanted mine to be rememberable (shocking helps).

I called it:

PHYSICAL OPPORTUNITIES FOR RUSSIAN NEWCOMERS (PORN), or Project PORN, which emphasizes addressing issues about attitudes and beliefs of the Russian-speaking Newcomer community (50-years and older) residing in San Francisco and living in the U.S. less than 10-years. Just a working title to be sure. It'll have a real community-friendly name later. ;)

As for other titles, when I was meeting with Mylene, we were discussing plans we could do ourselves for organizing Filipinos and for culminating experiences for our master's in public health program.

My master's project was going to be called:

PROJECT FLIP (Filipino Lives in Perspective). It's not a surprise that our discussion title with the Sacramento Lion's club is called 'Filipino Lives in Perspective' Hmmm... wonder who offered that idea for the title... (",)

Another project that was going to concentrate on forming a coalition for Filipino students was going to be called:

FOCUS (Filipino Organization of College and University Students). Neat huh? I already have some people interested...

Specifically for graduate students I thought FIGS (Filipinos in Graduate School) would be nifty. Mylene brought up the point though that with pinoy accents, people will be saying 'PIGS' instead of 'FIGS' and suggested we should rename it to LECHON however we haven't figured out what LECHON would stand for... I'll think of something... It's a cute title...

Balik Bayan: Flipino Lives in Perspective, A Fil-Am Experience

2004-10-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

Had a good phone conference with Christina and Mylene. I'm still in shock that Christina is in her late 20's (I won't reveal your TRUE age Christina). ;) Anyways, it was fruitful in that we planned out generally the scope of the presentation and the title (which is above).

It's targeted towards older Filipinos but with some modifications, can be geared to 20-somethings to be sure. Galing!

Goodness!

2004-10-20T14:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, almost 3-weeks without blogging. Tamad talaga sa ako!

School, school, school, what can I say! I better get a fat paycheck after I graduate! Key informant interviews are going smoothly although I feel really bad that Mylene has done a majority of the interviews since she's working less hours than Kat and myself plus she works in and lives near San Francisco which makes access to the interviewees much more easy. Sayang, but I still feel bad about it.

Hmmm... I made some brownies the other day... They were pretty special... (",)

Oh, I went to a tattoo exhibit sponsored by Pusod here in Berkeley. A professor from U.P. who's doing research on tribal tattoos displayed her exhibit of photos and tools. It was very cool, the history of Filipino tattooing and the traditions. She also went over the practice of tooth blackening.

After that I had Filipino food at Marylou's in Hercules with Mylene, went home and passed out (grabe ng luto do'on!).

Also received a book on Filipino racial cartoons from the turn of the century. Ironic how the U.S. is repeating history in Baghdad like they did in the Philippines almost a hundred years ago...

Peaceful and Quiet

2004-09-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

LOL. Had to share this quick IM... My work group was asking about meeting someplace peaceful and quiet...

kattygirlblue: oh, we were talking about meeting friday morn
jbanagan: ok
kattygirlblue: u available at 9:30?
jbanagan: sure
kattygirlblue: ok.. where? berkeley?
smilene1: where are we meeting?
smilene1: somewhere's peaceful and quite
smilene1: quiet
jbanagan: the cemetary?
smilene1: lol, not scary!
kattygirlblue: dorkus

Culturally Challenged

2004-09-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, another article... Well, it was supposed to be about civic engagement... Didn't quite bag it but I hope my point gets across...

Culturally Challenged

During the summer, I participated in a program that explored my identity as a Filipino-American and the identity of Filipinos living in the Philippines and overcoming being culturally challened. With guidance from Susan Alunan of the SFSU Urban Institute and Roma Guy of the SFSU MPH Program, and through a partnership of the Ayala and LBC Foundations through the Filipino-American Youth Leaders Fellowship Program, I immersed myself in the culture through workshops, activities, and placement with a local NGO, friendships and network building.

The local NGO I partnered with, AWECA Foundation, coordinated several programs, in which I participated, allowing opportunities to utilize skills learned through the SFSU MPH program such as program and site/community evaluations, needs assessments, data collection and analysis, and grants and proposal writing through livelihood projects with indigenous Aeta tribes in the mountains of Luzon, to educational programs with rural youth in Pampanga and urban youth and adults in San Fernando and Angeles City, to environmental issues addressing deforestation and illegal logging, to toxic and chemical waste from former military bases, to micro-loan projects for small urban businesses.

Issues of cultural competency and human dignity were never downplayed and were integral to program planning, development, and implementation. Addressing issues of capacity building, social capital, self and community empowerment were the focus for many of the programs. As Filipino-Americans, we are all too familiar with struggles of acculturation, discrimination, and finding our own identity here in the U.S. as we address, assess, alleviate, and overcome problems concerning social justice and negative health determinants within our own communities.

As we move along in our own personal realization of who we are as Filipino-Americans, I ask that we also discover, or for some rediscover, our cultural heritage in order to understand the struggles of our kapatid in the Philippines and as they arrive here in the U.S. By being culturally competent, our global Filipino family grows stronger because our sense of bayanihan becomes more tangible. Carlos Bulosan once wrote of his struggles of being Filipino in the U.S. and that America is in the heart; I’d like to add that the Philippines resides in our hearts as well and that we are Filipino regardless of the boundaries placed on us.

The Soldier

2004-09-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

The soldier stood and faced his God
Which must always come to pass
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as brightly as his brass

Step forward now, soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you turned the other cheek?
To my church have you been true?

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
" No Lord I guess I ain't
because those of us who carry guns
can't always be a saint".

I've worked most Sundays
and at times my talk was tough
But I never took a thing
that wasn't mine to keep
though I worked alot of overtime
when the bills just got too steep

And I never passed a cry for help
though at times I shook with fear
And sometimes, God forgive me
I've wept unmanly tears

I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here,
they never wanted me around
except to calm their fears

If you've a place for me here, Lord
it needn't be so grand
I never expected or had to much
but if you don't I'll understand

There was silence all around the throne
Where the saints often trod
as the soldier waited quietly,
for the judgment of his God

War does not determine who is right,
War determines who is left.

"Step forward now, soldier,
you have borne your burdens well,
come walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
I know you've surely served your time in hell.

An Essay on Identity

2004-09-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, so here's my essay on Filipino identity... Now to finish my work on my presentation on my summer experience... (",)

Simply Because: A Personal Essay on Cultural Resiliency and Fractionalization of the Filipino Identity

John Banagan
Ayala/LBC Foundation
Summer 2004

What is the cultural identity of the Filipino? I’ve thought about this concept since arriving back in the United States from the Philippines and for me the answer is continuously being arranged and rearranged as I learn more and more about my culture and where I come from. However, what stays constant in regards to identity is the mentality that Filipino people are culturally resilient in adapting and overcoming adversity and yet so culturally fractured in our identity.

For me the concept of being Filipino had always been exotic since I never truly participated culturally until my college years for a few reasons. First, I grew up in a Filipino home in white middle-class suburbia and for me being Filipino meant the box I checked for ethnicity or the type of food I ate on occasion with rice. Secondly, I didn’t know the language or any of the dialects of the Philippines since my parents thought it would be better for me to speak English in the U.S. so I wouldn’t be a kindergarten pariah because I couldn’t speak English (I immigrated to the U.S. when I was 2). Lastly, my looks gave away that I was not fully Filipino and even many Filipinos misidentify me as Chicano/Latino and definitely not Asian, let alone Filipino. Three-strikes and I’m out; no cultural connection, no language familiarity, no physical identity so you can understand I hope why this journey with my own cultural self identity and discovering who I am as a Filipino has been filled with awe and wonder due to my cultural disconnect.

So why be interested so late in life you might ask? I feel it’s never to late to learn about one’s culture and roots. I also feel that there are many kababayan that may also feel the same way as me in regards to finding a cultural link to what it means to be Filipino, those who immigrate to the U.S. without knowing their cultural heritage and those born in the U.S. who might even have the opportunity to experience it. Personally, not having what many Filipinos are born with (looks, language, and culture), I’ve always been envious of being ‘truly’ Filipino. But what makes someone Filipino, from what I’ve discovered, through my immersion program is not necessarily the looks, language, and culture, but the gestalt ideology of being culturally resilient and being culturally fractured at the same time.

Filipinos are resilient. We’ve been able to overcome 400 years of hardships and horrors and continue to fight and overcome adversity and prejudice both in the Philippines and abroad. From the time Magellan stepped off his galleon to claim the Philippines in the name of Spain to more recently addressing issues of social injustice and corruption in the Philippines to the long lasting legacy of environmental destabilization brought on by demilitarized bases. Examples of this are the Filipino-Spanish War, the Filipino-American War, World War II, and more recently the People Power Movements, EDSA, and the works of numerous NGO’s addressing illegal logging and environmental contamination in and around former military bases. The Filipino people accomplish these because of their ability to see past regionalism and unite to address social dilemmas, casting off the yoke of dictators and oppression.

Abroad, Filipinos have struggled with issues of acculturation as well as prejudice, particularly within the U.S. The manongs of the 1920’s and 1930’s (the predecessor of the modern day Overseas Filipino Worker-OFW’s), traveled to the U.S. to earn a living for themselves and their families abroad. They also traveled to the U.S. to start a new life for themselves with promises of a bright future. It is the same sense of resilience that allowed these Filipinos to strive and overcome adversity. From the small close-knit Filipino farming communities in Sacramento, Salinas, and Stockton of the 1920’s and 1930’s, to the modern day Filipino student associations, non-government organizations, foundations, and community centers that address social justice issues both in the U.S. for the nearly 2 million Filipinos living here and for the 84 million in the Philippines and 8 million living as OFW’s.

I can look at my own family history and see the history of the Philippines in them, living their history vicariously through their stories and reflections; my great-great grandfather on my father’s side who ran away from home because his father, a Spanish navy captain, beat him regularly, my grandfather on my mother’s side, a U.S. sailor, sired 2 Amerasian children (my mother and uncle) left my grandmother and the Philippines, to my father and mother who immigrated to the U.S. in search of a better life for themselves and their families.

Despite this cultural resiliency and being able to adapt and overcome by taking the best of one culture (in particular Spanish and American culture) and using it as their own, Filipinos become more culturally fractured in regards to their own self-identity, losing a little more of ‘what it means’ to be Filipino as they do so. I found this ironic because while I was there trying to be Filipino, many Filipinos there were trying to be more American. Therefore you can see the difficulty I was facing in that how could I find out about my own roots and about Filipino identity when Filipinos themselves don’t know about their own identity.

The same can also be said for Filipinos born in the U.S. as being culturally fractured. I feel that Filipino-Americans who grew up in the U.S. are at more of a disadvantage in regards to identifying and exploring our Filipino identity (culture and heritage) mainly because Fil-Ams don’t have an outlet for this unless they participate in college Filipino student organizations or Filipino youth ministry programs, etcetera. In synthesis, we don’t live the life, so how can we know? If we don’t know about it, how can we care? If we don’t care, then where is the identity in being Filipino?

So how can we define what the cultural identity of the Filipino is? We can’t, I believe, because the vision and view of our cultural identity adapts as needed. We change our dress, our looks, our mannerisms and speech to the latest hip fad as either a convenience or a necessity to fit in. As the times change, so does our image as who we are as Filipinos. What doesn’t change, however, and this is what I believe is most important, is that deep in our hearts regardless if we are Filipinos living in the Philippines or the U.S., is that we are Filipino, not because of our looks, language, or culture, but simply because we are.

Speaking of Babies...

2004-09-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hah! My brother's wife is pregnant! Sucker! Hahaha! Just kidding, I love kids... I just don't like changing diapers! Gross talaga! Anyways, congrats lil bro!

Baby's Daddy!

2004-09-21T11:27:00.000-07:00

Goodness, almost a week since I last posted... No wonder I feel edgy, I need an outlet!

Anyways, I just remembered in Baltimore that they had these billboards that said:

Paternity Clinic: DNA testing to verify parental obligation

LOL, clinics that provide proof wether you are the baby's father! From a public health point of view it's distburbing. Why aren't the Baltimore public health officials tackling the situation? Ironic that the number one public health school in the U.S. which is located in Baltimore is so flaccid in it's response to these stiff problems... Sayung!

Brrr!!!! Cold water and corrupt officials!

2004-09-15T13:06:00.000-07:00

My water heater broke! Boohoo!

Reminded me of my adventures in Barangay Maruglo. But there at least the water was more tepid, rather than cold.

Funny thing about that situation was that one person was in charge of 'turning on' the water for the whole community. That is, she was responsible for the water containment platform that held all the water. This being the case, there was rarely any water past 10PM and rarely any water befor 6AM.

Funny thing about this lady was she was involved in a scandal in that the U.> had donated 5 billion Pesos for community development for Aetas and other surround sitios and community and only a handful of people (her included) were responsible to ensure that community members received the donation (goats, money, etc...).

As is the case in the Philippines, corruption one over and only a few people received the items (namely the people who were responsible for dividing up the goods). As a result, the remaining monies and goods were confiscated by the U.N. and they haven't been back since 1995. (".)

Filipino Comics

2004-09-14T16:48:00.000-07:00

Well, instead of writing my process paper for my public health class, what do I do? Surf the web for cool sites. Actually I was looking for Katipunan symbols for a tatoo idea I had but I think I'm settling for the symbol Aguinaldo used as his banner.

Anyways, in regards to comic, I found this site while searching for symbols...

http://www.mangocomics.com

Had a link to the new Darna comic book. Looks pretty cool... I'll have to see if I can score a copy. (",)

Clean Teeth etchetera...

2004-09-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

Ah, nothing like going to the dentist and having jab a sharp nail like object through your gums where the teeth meets. Anyways, I do like going to the dentist. My teeth feel ultra clean right now... The problem is that I'm hungry but my teeth are clean. :(

Screw it... They're just gonna get all stained from the coffee tonight before I go to class. ;)

Oh yeah, I'm thinking I should just bring my digital camera with me where ever I go... Too many great shots go by with me missing it...

East Coast Visit

2004-09-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, stupid me. I forgot to bring my camera for my East Coast visit with the GF. We spend quality time shopping and driving around easter Maryland and southern Delaware. I sware she wanted to go to EVERY outlet shopping center possible. BTW, there's no sales tax in Deleware.

Anyways, here are some of the highlights that I saw.

Super Fresh Super Store: What kind of name is that? Sounds like a line from a rap song.

Big Peckers: Hah! It's a bar in Ocean City, Maryland.

Hooters Airlines: LOL. I couldn't believe it. Where do I sign up for frequent flyer miles?

Filipinos: Wow, lots of pinoys. Where are they coming from? Must be New Jersey...

The outlet stores in Deleware rival those of the malls in the Philippines. Those places were PACKED.

I had the best Indian food I've ever had before in Balitmore (the chicken saag was the bomb!).

GF and I argued again about our communication skills. I gave her the utlimatum that if she was basing our relationship JUST on communication skills that she better rethink the relationship since there are so many other aspects of a relationship, not just communication (although I believe it's an important one).

Online Chatting

2004-09-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

I think it's great.

Gura saved my butt today with it. I was able to find her online and chat with her because I forgot the password to one of the company laptops. She's so briliant!

All this while online. She also pointed me to a website where you can use P2P connections to talk with one another. So cool! I'll have to try it when I get back since I'll be in Maryland tonight till Monday. Yippee!

Anyways, my internship group used online conferencing before. I just need to get them a webcam like me and we're set. (",)

Otso Otso Lyrics (",)

2004-09-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

Otso Otso Lyrics
(by Bayani Agbayani)

Pagmulat ng mata, paggising sa umaga
Iunat ang kamay, bumangon na sa kama
Kung inaantok pa, lumundag-lundag ka, aha ha (aha ha)

Kung wala pa rin, 'wag mo nang pilitin
Buksan na lang ang TV o sa radyo ay hanapin
Tunog at bagong istep na nakakagising, ihi hing (ihi hing)

REFRAIN 1

One plus one equals two (really?)
Two plus two equals four (you're right)
Four plus four equals eight (perfect!)
Doblehin ang eight

CHORUS

Tayo'y mag-otso-otso (otso-otso)
Otso-otso (otso-otso)
Otso-otso (otso-otso)
Otso-otso na
Mag-otso-otso (otso-otso)
Otso-otso (otso-otso)
Mag-otso-otso pa

Wow!

Hindi lang pampatibay ng butong matamlay
Ito ay pampahaba pa ng ating buhay
Ipin man o wala, lahat ay sumabay, aha hay (aha hay)

REFRAIN 1

One plus one equals two (hmm)
Two plus two equals four (are you sure?)
Four plus four equals eight (you got it!)
Doblehin ang eight

[Repeat CHORUS twice]

Aw!

[Spoken]
O, mga Kolokoys, tigilan na ang bisyo, mag-otso-otso
Meron ba sila nyan?
Tayo ang original nyan!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Joke joke joke!

[Repeat 3rd Stanza]

REFRAIN 2

One plus one, Magellan (what?)
Two plus two, Lapu-lapu (ha?)
Four plus four equals eight (yehey! ha ha ha!)
Doblehin ang eight

[Repeat CHORUS]

Slower! (slower!)

[Repeat CHORUS except last line]

Otso-otso faster (stop me!)

[Repeat CHORUS twice]

O, sige kaya nyo pa? (mag-otso-otso pa)
Alas-otso (otso-otso na)
Dire-diretso lang (otso-otso na)
Ala, sige (otso-otso pa)

Spaghetti Song

2004-09-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

Oh wow, an article on the Spaghetti Song by the Sexbombs...

http://www.sunstar.com.ph/static/ceb/2003/07/16/oped/bong.wenceslao.html

I didn't know it was a children's song but it sure sounded like one... I wish we learned it during our immersion seminar in Makati. (",)

Here's another that talks about the album...

http://www.globalpinoy.com/old-news/showbiz/2003/july/22/22show1.htm

Here are the lyrics to the Spaghetti Song... Now I just need the ones for Otso Otso... Hah! (",)

Spaghetti Song (Pilipino Music)-
Sexbomb Girls W/ Joey De Leon
Lyrics:
Joey:
O ano mga darling, ready na ba kayo?
O sige, simulan na natin ha?
Okey 5 6 7 8! ...

Apir tayo sumakit ang ulo ko
Sumakit ang beywang ko
Sexbomb, sexbomb, sexbomb
(Joey): O tuloy tuloy lang ha
Apir tayo sumakit ang dibdib ko
Sumakit ang tuhod ko
Sexbomb, sexbomb, sexbomb
(Joey): O sabay sabay ...

Chorus:
Spaghetting pababa, pababa ng pababa
Spaghetting pataas, pataas ng pataas
Spaghetting pababa, pababa ng pababa
Spaghetting pataas, spaghetting bababa
At pataas! (break)
Aw! makinig kayo ...

Joey: (Rap)
Ayokong pumayat, ayokong tumaba
Ayoko ring matulad sa isang dambuhala
Ayoko sa lahat yung buto't balat
Ayoko ring tawagin na tabachoy at payat
Ang gusto ni tsupot ay sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy
Kaya mag-exercise yan ang aking masasabi ...
(Repeat 1st stanza & chorus)

Joey: (Rap)
Igiling pababa, igiling pataas
Tunawin ang taba para ito ay lumabas
At sa mapapayat, bata o may edad
Igalaw ang katawan at huwag tatamad tamad
Kung gusto nyong sumeksi
Gumanda ang iyong body
Lahat ay sumayaw yan ang aking masasabi ...
(Repeat 1st stanza)
(Repeat chorus 4x)

Chickspeak

2004-09-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

Got this off of Netscape today. Funny how lingo changes so often and how different groups within groups make up their own slang or way of speaking...

Baby blue: Viagra

Biphonal: Holding multiple phones to your ears or in front of you at the same time.

Blamestorming: A meeting whose sole purpose is to discuss why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Drailing: E-mailing when drunk; drunk e-mailing.

E-mauling: Stalking someone via e-mail.

Fatkins: Disciples of Atkins who have taken the "all the fat you can eat" idea to lunatic extremes.

GU (pronounced "goo"): Acronym for geographically undesirable.

Guyatus: A hiatus from guys.

Helicopter: A significant other who finds it necessary to hover around his or her mate at all times.

Intie: The intimacy flu. Usually occurs two to three weeks into a budding dating relationship. Symptoms include unreturned phone calls, "mistakenly" deleted e-mail messages, and sleeping on the far edge of the bed.

Karat dangler: A woman who finds it of utmost importance to flaunt her engagement/wedding ring at all times.

Lush flush: The rosy hue you get in your cheeks after a few too many glasses of wine.

Mitin (pronounced "mitten"): Acronym/codespeak for "more information than I needed."

Mouse potato: The wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Mousewife: A male housewife.

Phone zit: The recurring chin zit that results from spending too much time on the phone.

Reverse evolution princes: Men who at first seem to be princes but turn out to be frogs.

Single woman's sports pages: The New York Times' wedding announcements.

Spenny: Pricey; short for expensive.

Stray: A heterosexual male who everyone secretly thinks is gay.

Teenile: Used to describe someone who is way too old for what she is wearing.

Yellular: The loudness you adopt in response to a bad cell phone connection, in the misguided hope that talking louder will improve the connection.

Kat and Mylene

2004-08-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of posting about my friendships as well. I'm not rich in possessions but I am in friends and to me my friends are extensions of my family since I live so far away from my real family and that I rarely participate in family events which is very un-Filipino I know, but I think it's the way I was brought up as being an American rather than Filipino those first 18-plus years of my life.

I just wanted to share my experiences about Kat and Mylene. I think it's about time. Anyways, just for some background about us...

My friendship with them didn't solidify until this last Spring when we were 'forced' to work together. I have to say 'forced' because we didn't really get to choose which internship project or who we would be working with.

I have a great time working with Kat and Mylene. I feel like family with them in that I can joke around and make rude comments and be secure that they can make rude and snide comments back. It's playful banter I guess, much like the joking and ribbing I received and gave to my younger brother. In a sense, I see Kat and Mylene like my younger siblings.

Kat is a fantastic friend and very loving. I remember she took time out of her schedule to see Mylene and me off to the Philippines and then calling me to say 'welcome home' when I arrived in the Philippines. I remember Mylene calling me in the Philippines on our cell-phones because she needed comforting because the power in her dorms went out. I was honored she would look to me for that even though it was via phone.

Of course things aren't always a bed of roses. I remember arguing with Mylene one day over the feasibility of having all the Ayala fellows meet before their deployment to the Philippines (I could feel the daggers leaving her eyes and penetrating my flesh!). Like a younger sibling, I often tease Kat who teases me back, for example I called her a Predator (alien creature with dreadlocks), but I know that Kat is beautiful on so many levels and I'm proud of her achievements are where she's come from in order to achieve her dreams. Both Kat and Mylene are rare people whom I adore and hold dear. I appreciate our friendship and I appreciate how we treat each other like family...

The Lord works in strange and mysterious ways because He blessed me with meeting Kat and Mylene and with the opportunity to get to know them and in a sense with the opportunity of getting to know myself... (",)

TORTA with RICE!

2004-08-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

Torta with rice! OMG! I'm hungry... I remember eating torta in the barangay, waking up and seeing Benjie cooking. Those were so good! His sinigang and calderata are the bomb too although the caldereta was on the spicey side. Hope he gets married soon, he's a great cook but I think he's the eternal bachelor.

There's no pinoy-style restaraunts around here (Berkeley where I work). Someone should make one in Berkeley. The closest one is at 99 Ranch in El Cerrito (Goldilocks) bu it's kinda pricey although they do have lechon kawali... Too far! Boohoo! Sayang!

Sige, I'll go across the street and get some rice and egg foo yung. :P Saw a Jollibees in D.C. Reminded me of the Philippines. *sigh* It was pretty big, I'll have to go there some time. I don't think it was too far away from the D.C. BART station which means not too far from school... Hotdog spaghetti! Sarapa talaga! (",)

Okay, all this talk is gonna make me pass out.

Hmmm... There's a bayanihan organization (http://www.bayanihancc.org) in S.F. I need to examine it more since the web-site keeps hanging-up on me. As well as opportunities with SAVE (http://www.fullequitynow.org), an advocacy organization for Filipino verterans (being a Filipino verteran, I feel ashamed that I haven't done anything sooner. So what if these brave men fought 60-plus years ago, they did so for me and my country, it's the least I can do...).

The Start of the Semester...

2004-08-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

Right now it's the calm before the storm. I was looking over the work plan that Kat, Mylene, and myself have developed and looking at it as a whole looks quite daunting, however I think if we tackle it piecemeal, we should be okay. As the generals of old used to say 'divide and conquer.'

Well, this weekend was interesting in that it was my fraternity brother's wedding (he's also my little brother in the fraternity, that is, I was his sponsor). Anyways, after 12-years of courting, YES, 12-years, Freddy and Alison finally ot married beating my old high school friend and college roommate Miguel and his wife Arlene who dated for 10-years. ;)

It was a great wedding, nice and short and the reception was pretty cool. Lion dancers and drumming. Was very cool, plus I got to see people who I hadn't seen in a very long time.

So this is wedding 1 of 3 down. 2 more to go, both in October... My dad was wondering about me when he called the other day. Not sure when, soon I said and immediately tried to change the subject. He should be happy that my younger brother got married in June but I guess I'm setting a bad example for my other siblings in regards to getting married late (I'm in academia, I can't help it... okay, that's a bad excuse... but anyways... let's change the subject...). (",)

Chatted with Kat online last night which was cool as usual. I had my webcam up so I had proof that I was actually working on school stuff... Well not proof really since all you can see from the angle is my Philippines flag and a poster of the 'I want YOU for the U.S. Army' poster in my room (I love old propoganda posters). We decided we were going to get the some of our classmates to go dancing some weekend, I'm looking forward to that... All work and no play... etchetera... etchetera...

"The City by the Bay..."

2004-08-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

OMG, it's such a gorgeou day! The bay is SO BLUE today. From my office I hve a panoramic view of the Bay Area (I'm in one of the tallest buildings in Berkeley) and I can see from South City all the way to Marin and of course the Golden Gate is right in the middle! Even the bay water is blue instead of the usual green-brown. Grabe!

I'll defnitely have to go for a walk later...

Forever's Not Enough by Sarah Geronimo

2004-08-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

If I would have to live my life again
I'd stay in love with you the way I've been
Your love is something no one ever can replace
I can't imagine life with someone else
I promise, I will share my life with you
Forever may not be enough it's true
My heart is filled with so much love
I feel for you
No words can say how much I love you so

CHORUS:
And if forever's not enough for me to love you
I'd spent another lifetime baby,
If you ask me to
There's nothing I won't do
Forever's not enough to love you so

They say tomorrow seems so far away,
And now we see that everything can change
My love for you gets stronger as tomorrow comes
I know this love will stand
In the test of time

Chorus

For you, there's nothing I can't do
And never will I ever go
Forever's not enough to love you so
But if forever is one day
I promise you I'll stay to show you
That my love for you will never end...

Repeat Chorus 2x

Foolish Heart by Nina (her version)

2004-08-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

I need a love that grows
I don't want it unless I know
But with each passin hour
Someone, somehow
Will be there, ready to share

I need a love that's strong
I'm so tired of being alone
But will my lonely heart
Play the part
Of the fool again, before I begin

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore

I'm feelin that feelin again
I've been playin a game I can't win
Love's knockin on the door
Of my heart once more
Think I'll let him in
Before I begin

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before, you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore
Foolish heart
Foolish, foolish heart
You've been wrong before

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore
Foolish heart

Oh foolish
foolish heart
You've been wrong before

Foolish
foolish heart
Foolish heart

Bakit Pa Ba by Jay-R

2004-08-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

Nagpapaalam ka, dahil nasaktan kita

Noo'y di makitang mali ako

Ngayo'y alam ko na, sa 'yoy nagkasala

Sana muli ako'y mapatawad pa



Araw-araw kang lumuluha, sa akin ay nagmamakaawa

Noo'y di narinig, pagsamo mo



Bakit pa ba nagawa?

Nasaktan ko ang isang tulad mo

Na labis na nag-mamahal

Di napansin na walang, katulad ang dala ng pag-ibig mo sa akin

Ako sana muli, ay patawarin



Kay tagal akong bulag sa katulad mo

Gayong wagas yaring pag-ibig mo

Iniwan pa kita yaring nag-iisa

Bakit ba nagawa ito sa 'yo



Araw-araw kang lumuluha, sa akin ay nagmamakaawa

Noo'y di narinig, pagsamo mo



Bakit pa ba nagawa?

Nasaktan ko ang isang tulad mo

Na labis na nag-mamahal

Di napansin na walang, katulad ang dala ng pag-ibig mo sa akin

Ako sana muli, ay patawarin



Ooh..oohwoowoooo...



(1 pitch higher)

Bakit pa ba nagawa?

Nasaktan ko ang isang tulad mo

Na labis na nag-mamahal

Di napansin na walang, katulad ang dala ng pag-ibig mo sa akin

Ako sana muli...

Ay patawarin

2004-08-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

Who can resist this cutie! Look at that smile! Grabe! (",)

2004-08-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

Naku! We look stoned in this picture! Who took it! This is my buddy Windu (no relation to Mace the Jedi Knight) and me after adventuring around Porac.

2004-08-23T20:17:00.000-07:00

We cross the lahar wasteland to find the road to Pilien. The road there was like this for about 8 miles or so (sometimes worse sometimes better)...

2004-08-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

Who said there aren't deserts in the Philippines? This ash waste is a lahar flow. Look how wide this flow was! Took about an hour to cross...

2004-08-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

Aeta tribal council of Sitio Pilien during the community leadership workshop.

2004-08-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

This is the Aeta tribal chief of Sitio Pilien. And to the left is a really huge mestizo (a.k.a. the Bruiser).

2004-08-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

Why is Denise smiling? Because we both shared a steaming hot bowl of hito and rice (her favorite)! Sarap talaga! Just use a whole lotta patis naman! (",)

8/23/04 "Curse of the Hidden Tabo..."

2004-08-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's another short story...

If you ever visit the National Kidney Transplant Institute, bring your own tabo or toilet paper because they don't have either. :(

I had to learn the hard way and it was a gross experience... I should have borrowed Mylene's but she was busy rounding up people for our Taal excursion (the Volcano that Never Was, but there were other sights worth gazing at... *sigh* [looks dreamily out the window]).

Anyways, I was scrambling around the men's dorm for a tabo and I couldn't find any! In desperation, like an animal chewing on it's leg to escape a trap, I had to think quick and without concern to my own safety for fear of, of, um, of the unkn0wn (well you know, Numero Dos!). So I grabbed the overly sized and gross looking wastebasket and used it as a tabo. A WASTEBASKET!!! BOOHOO! You'd think a hospital would have a tabo for the men's dorm!!! Yuck! Thank goodness for tetnus shots! :P

Boohoo! What an experience! What I learned is that I should carry my own no matter where I go in the RP. Thankfully I bought a nice red one for myself (no Chiara, I didn't want the blue sparkly one with Jasmine, Snow White, Ariel and the other Disney chicks, too girly... Now if they had He-Man, Superman, or a Spiderman one I would get it, GRABE! If they had one... Oh well).

8/23/04 "The Art of the Tabo..."

2004-08-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

So here's another anecdote. Why am I saying anecdote. Am I even spelling it right? Anyways, here's my short blerb (is that even a word? LOL!). Anyways, enough of this jibba-jabba! Hahahaha...

So there I was in Barangay Maruglo...

And I had to take a, well, you know, a number 2(!), but unfortunately I was not back San Fernando sitting on a porcelin throne with a waterhose to squirt my nether-regions. Alas, my first tabo experience since I was 12 was haunting me, would I triumph over adversity or be swallowed by squat-master oblivion!

As it turned out it was neither, so let's just call it a draw!

Here's the story. I looked at the tabo floating in the bucket of water. It floated there content and peaceful, enjoying it's morning in the cool water. The bathing-toilet room wasn't big and there wasn't really room to manuever and I really had to go, so with a sigh, I dropped my shorts and squatted and decided here goes nothing.

Oh the agony my thighs had to endure. I felt the burn! After I finished I grabbed the tabo and deftly positioned it and started the end-procedure (no pun intended!). But alas, I wasn't as deft as I thought and spilled water all over my shorts. :( Grabe! I thought sarcastically as it now looked like I took a big pee in my shorts. Ah well, mixed results for the first time, but I improved on the situation with each time...

1) Strip down nekkid, do a number 2 and then take a bath,

2) Take off your shorts and hang them up on the nail in the wall.

So actually using the tabo wasn't so bad afterall...

8/23/04 "Night of the Aswang..."

2004-08-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

So I was speaking with Gura (I'll be emberassed if she's not the same Gura I know, LOL!) about anecdotes and adventures in the Philippines. So I'll do my best to relay some of the more interesting (at least to me!) times while I was there (as well as in the land of the BIG PX).

This happend when I was in the bundoks visiting the Aeta at Sitio Pilien...

I woke up in the middle of the night with SOMEONE or SOMETHING licking my feet. Now being Filipino, I have the option of being religious (well I do go to church once in a while) and being superstitious so I was looking for dogs with short front legs and long rear legs looking at me mischieviously, obvious signs of an ASWANG in disguise but I didn't see any. Nor did I see any bottomless (not as in not wearing panties) ladies with only their torsos flying around either, the preferred method of movement and attack for the aswang.

So when I felt the tongue on the bottom of my feet I woke with a start and immediately thought 'the Aswang have finally found me!' but when it's furry body jumped on the plywood I was sleeping on I realized it was must be a dog and immediately booted the mischievous (!!?) canine towards Arnel who was sleeping on the plywood next to me. He gave a mumbled comment and went back to bed. Since it was pitch black I'm not sure which dog it was since none of the ones I saw were even remotely as shaggy as the one I booted but maybe it was the aswang's head I kicked. Who knows, I sure don't. I immediately said a Hail Mary and Our Father and passed out from exhaustion once more...

8/17/04 "Fate, destiny, and why things happen..."

2004-08-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

OMG! What a trippy experience. I was in San Francisco this morning at Macy's to pick up an item. It wasn't like destiny or anything because I had to meet a specific sales person and Macy's because she was helping me with a purchase.

Anyways, we finished the transaction and I was going home. I knew she was going on vacation so I mentioned that I hope she goes some place exotic and I had mentioned I had just come back from the Philippines. She then mentioned that her parents were from Manila and Davao which totally suprised me because I thought she was Italian or something (she's actually mestiza).

Anyways, we ended up spending an hour talking about cultural identity in the Philippines and in the U.S. She's such a wealth of knowledge and very inspirational. She mentioned that the work that myself and the other Fil-Ams are doing are important in regards to understanding once heritage (she received her masters from SFSU as well and knows many of the pinoy professors and also knows the first Darna, isn't that a trip!!?).

I can't express how good a talk it was with her. I asked her if I ever needed any motivation I would contact her because she makes me feel good about what I'm doing. I feel good about it myself but to hear it from a complete stranger (well not a complete stranger now since I plan on keeping in touch!) who shares the same cultural 'identity' means a lot to me.

Sometimes I have to wonder if meetings like that are fated to happen and that somethings happen for reason and not out of mere circumstance... Bahala na? LOL, maybe but I chose never to go to Macy's to meet her, then the information and enthusiam I received from her would never have materialized, if I had never applied for the youth leader program woud I be less compassionate towards the situation in the Philippines and discover my own need for establishing my own definition of cultural 'identity,' if I never went to my first Mga Kapatid meeting at college, would I even care about the Philippine experience in the Philippines and the U.S. If, if, if...

I'm glad the opportunities I was afforded were given and if I had the chance to live life over, I wouldn't change a thing... :D

2004-08-16T23:47:00.000-07:00

Okay so here's another picture of me from way back. Maybe less than a year old? Who knows, but this was taken back on my dad's farm back in Santa Cruz, Laguna. Only difference is I don't wear diapers (mostly)...

2004-08-16T23:46:00.000-07:00

Okay here's me like in 2nd grade or something. Nothing much has changed... Oh so guapo... ;)

Goof ball pics...

2004-08-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

Okay so here are some not-so-flattering pics of me. I'll add some more so you get a picture of the person writing this blog...

2004-08-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

Shaka bra! Doin' it kama aina style!

2004-08-16T23:31:00.001-07:00

Actually I'm a lover not a fighter. ;) I was in charge of medivac triage of medical patients before they were admitted to our field hospital ER.

2004-08-16T23:31:00.000-07:00

Okay so here I am all dressed up. Ryan on my right (your left) is one of my soldiers and Don my left (your right) is one of my fellow squad leaders.

2004-08-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

I forgot how studdly I was when I was in the military. ;)

8/16/04 "Work sucks!"

2004-08-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

Well, not really, it's good to be back around familiar surroundings. The temperature is a mild 66 degrees F. I would have thought I'd find it hella cold here but with all the air-con going on in the Philippines, it all seems the same. :P

Anyways, it was nice to see my co-workers. They were all asking me about my trip and I think I told the story to each person separately. :( My voice is hoarse so I wish they would have asked me all at once in the same room.

So, I talked with the gf last night. And we both agreed a relationship is about committment and self-sacrifice. I told her I would travel to Georgia if she got accepted there and she agreed she would go to the Philippines if I got accepted to a doctoral program in public health. I really hate Georgia, so I hope she knows how much I'm sacrificing here. As fo her going to the Philippines, would she really stay with me if she knew I'd be there for maybe 5 years studying?

Uggh. Long distance relationships really suck... Been there done that didn't like it... Now I'm back in one. Boohoo!

Anyways, uploading pics of the trip from the digital camera. The 35mm shots won't be on Snapfish for a week or so... If you're interested, let me know... Ok, off to play some video games and lounge (I'm sore from working out at the gym). :(

2004-08-16T05:12:00.000-07:00

Sitting next to me were members of the pinay music group Viva Hot Babes. It was a special day for me. :)

2004-08-16T05:11:00.000-07:00

My last day in the Philippines. I was fortunate to have lunch with a few of the Ayala Sex Bomb music group.

8/15/04 "Early morning reflections..."

2004-08-15T00:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, I even have them here...

Anyways, my house is thrashed. Fore the record my roommate is a slob. He's a cool guy, but damn he's a slob. Spent most of my time so far doing my own laundry and cleaning the common areas of the house. Not that I'm a neat freak or anything, I just believe in being tidy and organized (which is ironic since my room is a mess, which is okay with me since it's, hopefully, not a common area in the house).

Finally talked with Karen my gf. We both miss each other and that's good. I haven't spoken with her for almost 2-months and have text'ed each other a few times during my absence. Anyways, she mentioned that she was going to apply to the CDC (no not the Clark Development Committee for those Kampampangas but the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia... Or HOT-lanta depending if y'alls is from da dirty south... which I agree sometimes with that it's all about chicken and beer... sarup!).

Anyways, if she gets the position, it's another 2-years apart from each other (3 total). LOL! Oh man. I sure know how to pick relationships. Anyways, I brought up that maybe we should seprate since I don't really mind long distance relationships but it seems our paths are going in different directions... Her's to the east coast and mine to the Pacific.

I'm not the kind of person that would be selfish and tell her for my sake not to follow her dreams, it's important that she does this because this is what she wants to do. I've always supported her and her goals, so hoepfully she'll support mine and my interests of returning to the Philippines and helping the people and country there... (I'm considering pursuing my doctoral program there...)

Ah well... I told her we'd talk more about it later... I hate breaking up, it's not fun... :P

8/15/04 "Back home..."

2004-08-15T00:38:00.000-07:00

Wow, back home. Leaving the Philippines I felt that same melacholy 'homesick' feeling when I moved from Hawaii back to California. What I miss most about the Philippines are the friendships I've made and the ambience of simply being in the Philippines. *sigh* And all that food... Well at least I didn't eat any balut although to be a polite guest I ate some bitter melon... :P

Hmmm... Well Nikki and I had a good flight back. We were separatedwhen the flight began because of the seating arrangements but we talked to a few of the people who were sitting in the same row as us and asked them if they would be interested in switching seats so we managed to sit together for the whole flight back which I enjoyed and made the trip more bearable having one of my kapatid with me.

One question that came up was when we both knew we were Filipino. For me it happened when I was in grade school (maybe 2nd grade). As most everyone who knows me knows I don't really look Filipino. I'm mestizo but I could really pass for a full-blooded latino. Anyways, when I was in grade school, one of the teachers volunteered me to dance some Mexican fiesta dances. I had told her that 'ma'am, I'm not Mexican I'm Filipino.' She simply replied, 'don't worry you look Mexican to me.'

My earliest memory was when I was 2 years old and ironically was of me leaving the Philippines. I thought about this same memory when I was leaving the Philippines this time around. Anyways, I remember sitting and that the chair tray was down and my mom had poured some plastic toys on the tray for me to play with during the flight.

8/9/04 "The Volcano..."

2004-08-08T23:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it! The volcano was barely visible because of the mist and the rain (boohoo!). :P It appears that my volcano viewing bad luck has followed me to the Philippines from Costa Rica where the exact same thing happened.

The only site (or is that sight as in for sore eyes) worth seeing was Mylene's buddy. :) Well, Mylene was worth seeing too but she's my kapatid and I hadn't seen her in a while, LOL!). The director of NKTI was quite hillarious and quite the character to boot. What a very socially responsible person he is. It was a pleasure to meet Mylene's host NGO and her buddy. :)

So in regards to the volcano pics, you'll just have to imagine what it was like. As Gura said to me, 'a volcano on a lake on an island on an ocean...' or something to that effect... ;)

Oh yeah, so about this 'no romance' policy, I figure I can get around it by saying 'this kiss' or 'this hug' or what ever, 'means abosultely nothing to me as I have no romantic intentions towards you...' I'm not sure if this will work since I have a feeling it'll cause more pain (as in physical) than pleasure and I'm too nervous to try. ;)

8/6/04 "Catching up..."

2004-08-05T22:17:00.000-07:00

Just some catching up here on things I may have missed over the past week...

Over the weekend (Saturday) I had the opportunity to go to a massage parlor. I know what you're thinking (bastos!) but just because the massage parlor is in Angeles City (know for its prostitution) it was clean and wholesome fun and was conducted at Indulgence Spa which actually is a spa and the staff was is very professional there.

The next day I went to the Robinson Mall which located next to the SM Mall. The malls are the same size as the ones in the U.S. but have about 3 times as many consumers. Didn't buy much, just some CK1 and some souvenirs and ended seeing a movie (I-Robot) since there was a typhoon outside. Don't worry Jeff and Shak, I'm still looking for a life-sized barrel man for y'all but you'll have to watchout because that boner will knock you out (mama said knock you out!).

The next couple of days were typical office days.

However I did get the chance to have dinner and visit the Red Light district with my classmate Ruby Asuncion Turalba (she's like the Lara Croft of environmental activism except shorter) and Christina Leano (saavy and sultry executive director for Ayala Foundation, USA). Both young women along with their entourage of eco-crusaders were charming companyto say the least. I think what caught me off guard was a) the Red Horse Stallion, and b) the non-accented English. However, I have to thank my host NGO and host family for putting up with my accented Tagalog (or lack there of) and having the patience to speak with me in the first place... ;)

On Thursday I went down to Manila to visit an NGO called the Shinning Light Foundation (the title reminds me of the Shinning Path guerillas that were once lead by Che Guevara or maybe the Shinning...). This NGO is a religious (Born-Again) organization that concentrates mainly on helping other Born-Again organizations and individuals, missionaries, etc. and had graciously sponsored the AWECA Foundation's scholarship program (SLF sponsors 3 high school and 1 college student out of the total 100 scholars that AWECA coordinates) since SLF and AWECA have the similar goals of education and religion as part of their service to their community. Anyways, the SLF executive director is very fiesty and not your typical pinay (she contributes this behavior to her living in Chicago for 1-year, which I'm sure would make anyone edgy). All in all it was a good experience and I learned a great deal, for example, that being open (for example one's religious views) is paramount to form lasting and positive partnerships. In the U.S. I don't work so much with religious organizations because I want to maintain a non-partisan view that religion can sometimes bias. When I do consider a religious partner, it's important to consider several religious partners so non-bias can be maintained.

Well, I'll probably have another update on Monday. This weekend we're supposed to have a staff retreat on Saturday and on Sunday it's off to the Taal Volcano.

8/3/04 "Human Dignity..."

2004-08-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

What is at stake in the Philippines when we become involved in the communities that we have been participating in?

Social justice, human dignity, quality of life, empowerment, opportunity.

All these terms are so connected and intertwined. It seems like you can't have one without the other.

But how can these discrepancies be acknowledged when those with so little in all these qualities are ignored? How can they be given voices so that they become acknowledged?

It's heartening to see indivuals and organizations who have not given up on their kabayans, their kapatid, to lend them the strength of their voices, of their spirit, so that our brothers and sisters who are lacking are heard and recognized.

Much has to be done until we are all equal, until we all share the same human dignity, till we are all empowered and have the opportunities as human beings. It's hard to start the walk towards freedom when the end of the road is so far off but the journey must be started even with just a simple footstep forward.

Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed, it helps to read the quotes of Cesar Chavez. His words are so honest and simple, yet so strong and dignified that you can't help but feel inspired to carry on.

8/2/04 "Education as a means of reducing poverty..."

2004-08-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

Education overcomes poverty.

Education provides opportunity.

Education enables empowerment.

Education increases quality of life.

But what happens when even the basic necessities needed for education are unavailable? What happens when resources are so limited that rarely do children have the opportunity to attend school?

In the Philippines, poverty plays a major role in the opportunity for students to attend school. Those families who can afford to spend the PHP 15,000 or so pesos to send their children to school (public or private) will do so. However, many families can not. And because of this, many children grow up with limited opportunities of breaking the chains of poverty that restrict them, forcing them to repeat the same circle of poverty, generation after generation after generation.

In the Lord of the Rings, J.R. Tolkien has a line...

One ring to rule them,
One ring to find them,
One ring to bring them,
And in the darkness, bind them.

One could think of the One Ring as poverty when applied to each verse...

7/30/04 "Treating social justice issues..."

2004-07-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

I just thought about treating social justice issues using disaster response as a template. I think it's possible to treat social justice issues in the Philippines as a disaster such that recipients receive aid that increases their level of human dignity based on the Humanitarian Charter of the U.N.

http://www.sphereproject.org

Must also remember to get a book by Sionil Jose recommended by Chiara. There's a National Bookstore at the Nepo Mall but I was told that there's a larger one over at SM Mall in San Fernando.

7/29/04 "New sport..."

2004-07-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

Oh man, totally forgot about this...

Buffalo Boarding and Rice Surfing

Not in the sense you're boarding a buffalo like a pirate (ahoy mateys! thar be a buffalo! avast ye and board her! aaargh!) but in the sense you're using a board to 'ski' behind the water buffalo or 'surf the rice' as the case may be.

So the premise is this, a boarder, using a snowboard or a smallish surfboard (a boogie board might be better) is pulled by a water buffalo across the rice paddy. The hard part is having the water buffalo maintain momentum such that the boarder maintains movement so he can do some totally gnarly moves bra! (you have to say the last 4 words with a Keanu Reeves accent).

Speaking of Keanu, did you know that my Hawaiian name is Keoni? It was given to me by one of the staff at the hospital I worked at in Hawaii. According to her, you can only be given a Hawaiian name by someone with Hawaiian ancestry (she's 3/4 Hawaiian, nice lady, good with drawing blood and IV sticks, teaches hula). So after she named me Keoni (which is just John in Hawaiian), the rest of the kama aina staff (Hawaii born locals) started calling me Keoni. I got used to it that I almost never responded to John. :)

7/28/04 "Last day of workshop..."

2004-07-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

Last day of the 'Pilien' leadership workshop. Was meant to be for all the other Aeta sitios but only Pilien showed up because of the bad weather we've been having here. Blessing in disguise really since it's easier to train smaller groups.

Have to get a song called 'the APL song.' Rap song about Filipino 'ghettos.'

Here's a sort of retraction.

Seems that Pampangans DO yell when they speak. Usually happens between the older generations especially in the country however some older people in the city do so as well.

As it was explained to me, it's because they're showing off and want people to know they're there. They used to dress very flashy as well, wearing lots of American goods and clothes but the flashy dress doesn't happen so much since the bases are gone.

Seeing the Pilien tribal council leave is like seeing a good depart. I wish them the best of luck!

7/27/04 "Sacrifices..."

2004-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Those with more must sacrifice more. Those with less are already living a life of self-sacrifice...

They keep playing GMA's SONA over and over on the radio. I'm curious how she'll get the rich to pay more taxes when so many of the rich are prominent senators, congressmen, governors, mayors, etc...

Unfortunately it's usually the other way around when the poor will always have to sacrifice more than the rich.

Funny that politicians (much like in the U.S.) will spend millions of pesos for their campaigns, money that could be spent on social services like sending kids to school, feeding the poor, creating affordable housing, indentifying and addressing social injustices, etc...

LOL! GMA should have said 'will' instead of 'must' because 'must' sounds like a request but at least 'will' sounds like a command.

Who's to say thise rich fat-cats are going to sacrifice more based on their conscious or good-nature? Doubt it...

Japanayuki's in Maruglo! I ws told they're pinay 'entertainers' that travel to Japan every 6-months (every 6-months they need a new visa with a new name since I guess you can't work in Japan for more than 6-months ever). Anyways, I was told they make pretty good money and that they remit a lot back to the Philippines. They're just one type of the 1.4 million overseas Filipino workers (OFW's).

There was a leadership exercise on drawing our successes and dreams. Many people from Pilien (the Aeta sitio) drew houses and homes as accomplishments and drew larger houses and more land as dreams.

7/26/04 "Leadership class in Maruglo..."

2004-07-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, back in Maruglo. Special guests today are Denise and Tito from Ayala Foundation, 'Aggie' Aguilar a leadership instructor, and of course the Aeta tribal councils from the neighboring sitios and the COOP members living in Maruglo.

The next 3-days will be spent on leadership courses, management training, and program accountability. I think someone had mentioned out of school youth but I'm not sure about that. All in all it should be pretty cool, especially if it stops raining...

[Later that day...]

Participated in a leadership meeting with the local barangay cooperative that specializes in loaning money. Capital interest for this group was started through the Aweca Agro business to start the COOP. Aweca kind of reminds me of a local Angeles City Ayala.

Word of the Day:

Bayanihan: helping each other out without compensation.

Woah, flash back time (this is when my vision gets all wiggly as I reminisce).

Just flashing back. I think my first real kiss, I mean real passionate kiss was a stage kiss.

LOL! I had to rehearse the kiss and I was so nervous during rehearsals because I had never kissed a girl that way before...

But when it happened on stage, it seemed so right. It happened smoothly. I totally forgot about the audience and was enthralled by the feelings both physically and emotionally...

I have to smile because the first real kiss, passionate kiss, was shared on stage with an actress and an audience, and the stage crew...

The way my lips touched hers, then slowly our tongues touched and ewtwined. The moment seemed to last forever and at the same time only for an instant...

I didn't realize I was holding my breath and I let out a sight when our lips parted. My friends in the audience, being the dorks they are, started 'ooohhhing' and 'aaaahhhing' and giggling. But actually I didn't care. I had this big smile on my face and the experience was beautiful and I was just enjoying the after effects...

Not sure what brought about this memory but it was a happy memory and is one of many that I will cherish as long as I exist...

[Even later that day...]

Wow, the leadership course/class was pretty cool. Understood some of it but it was mostly in Kampampangan so I wasn't too familiar with everything but atleast some of the words looked familiar and some of the aspects looked similar to what I learned, read, and experienced myself.

It's been raining on and off all day so I'm not totally surprised that some of the Aetas show up around 5:00 PM. They'll spend the night for the class tomorrow. They're motivated to take the class and have been probably walking in the rain the whole day, the whole way...

Side note:

Funny that the government warnings here to safeguard your health (eg. the warning labels on packs of cigarettes) are in English. Not sure how many Aetas can read English (or other people in the Philippines for that matter). Warning labels here should be in Pilipino so everyone could read them (if everyone knew how to read).

7/25/04 "Sunday off..."

2004-07-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, first off, I AM NOT BOLERO!!! What a naughty rumor! ;)

Was invited to a wedding yesterday about 10 minutes before it started. Yup, it was like the Filipino weddings in the U.S. with a dozen pair of sponsors, etc... One thing about FilAms is that many of the customs that are parents are familiar with are shared with us wether or not we want them shared. :)

For example, things I won't share (as in I'll kindly not participate in):

* eating balut
* eating bitter melon

Saw the art exhibit in Angeles also (it's a block down from the Holy Rosary church). Was very cool. Very nice art. I wrote a hay(na)ku for the curator.

Speaking of hay(na)ku's, I started another blog page for them. You can find them at:

http://johnaku.blogspot.com

Read an article today about the 'Let's Pretend Campaign.' Was a very good article and very inspiring to say the least. The gist was that let's pretent that we (Filipinos) do live in a first world/developed country, and for one day, pretend that we can achieve what others think we can't. I'll have to keep the article with me and share it with my kababayan when I meet up with them again...

7/24/04 "Rainy days..."

2004-07-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

Wow, Filipinos here love aircon. There's an aircon store on every block in seems. Michelle was right, I should have brought a ski jacket with me (maybe I'll bring my sweatshirt with me where ever I go...). :) You don't even see that many in the Bay Area but then again it's usually freezing/foggy in SF 24-7, 365 anyways.

Well, had camerones today. Not as in shrimp as you Spanish speakers might think but BUGS! I was told it was a delicacy in Pampamga. Not so bad, yup crunchy, like shrimp if you didn't peel them. Kinda looks like grasshoppers or something (I was told it was like miniature locusts or something). Well, if Moses could eat them, I reckon they couldn't all that bad (it was actually quite yummy and I know bugs are nutritious, for example, cockaroaches are 90% protein!).

Yup it's raining today. If the aircon of everyone in the Philippines was turned outwards we'd be in 4 feet of snow by now across all the islands. No joke lang!

Oh yeah, it's hay(na)ku (not how I spelled it the other day.

Hai(na)ku

2004-07-23T00:46:00.000-07:00

Gonna take Gura's advice and see if I can create some Filipino haikus. :)

http://eileentabios.blogspot.com

And maybe post it on that site.

7/22/04 "Heading back to Angeles..."

2004-07-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

I wish I brought a pillow. Sleeping on wood planks suck but I bet my back is better for it.

We take so much for granted in the U.S. where the middle class is so large and that we're able to or have the opportunity to live with so many amenities.

In the Philippines there is a huge poor population (maybe up to 70%) with a small middle class and an even smaller upper class (as usual, it's the relative few that dictates the direction of the masses).

I was curious how much my companions earn. One makes about PHP 7,500 (about $150) a month while the other makes PHP 10,000 (about $200) a month. I figured they would be making about $500 U.S. a month. I felt awkward when they asked me how much I made which is about PHP 180,000 (as a student). But then the cost of livining in the U.S. is so expensive. You can rent a nice house in the Philippines for about PHP 9,000 where in the U.S. my shared rent for the house is about PHP 35,000.

I need to go CD shopping. One good way to learn about a culture is through it's music...

7/21/04 "Rise and shine in Pilien..."

2004-07-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

What a stark contrast I've had during this experience in regards to sleeping arrangements. In Angeles I sleep in a very well to do home in a large bed with aircon. Here in Pilien it's a wooden board with aircon provided by mother nature. A dog licked my toes and jumped on the bed while I was sleeping. Scared the bejeebus out of me because I thought the aswang were after me!

The similarities between both situations are that both families are honest, hard-working families who also volunteer what little time they have to become community leaders and to lend a hand in their own communities.

Just a quick note:

When visiting an Aeta community, for your comfort, it's better to treat the experience as a 'camping trip.' Keeping this in mind worked quite well for me.

On the way back down the THREE MOUNTAINS AND FOUR RIVERS:

OMG! I was resigned to walking down the 3 mountains and 4 rivers on treacherous mud paths looking over precarious gorges and thought it couldn't get any worse. Surprise surprise! It rained for about 2-hours while we were making it down the mountain (which is about half-way through the trip). Walking for 10-miles in wet underwear is very uncomfortable, so here are my suggestions.

For those of you who are lacking tsinelas finese and mountain goat skills, I would suggest wearing calve-length boots (hiking or old military boots should do). During the rainy season for you fellas out there, I would suggest free-balling it. Probably not so big a deal during the summer.

Anyways, the remoteness of the village outlines the stark reality of marginalized culture. Being in the bundoks, or mountains, illustrates how people can be forgotten and ignored despite their cries for opportunity (I'll elaborate more in my field notes).

7/20/04 "Hiking to Pilien today..."

2004-07-22T20:28:00.000-07:00

Have to pick up a song by Jay-R called Bakit Pa Ba or something like that and Forever's Not Enough by Sarah Geronimo. Okay, so the hike should be 3-hours long. Should be fun!

So some things to remember for FilAms. There isn't toilet paper (generally) in the Philippines. Of course there are always exceptions like businesses, posh hotels, and museums. So start practicing using that tabo or water hose to wash your puet!

Some notes on fractionalization:

Even the insurgent groups are fractionalized such that they fight each other as well as the government troops. Also there are redundant offices such that some offices don't know who is in charge of what since they have similar responsibilities.

I wonder what miracles could be accomplished if Filipinos worked together for a united nation more often, EDSA, People Power, beheadings of oversea Filipino workers.

Thought for the day:

The whole is greater than the sum of all its parts...

Filipinos are so soulfull, listen to our music. :)

Later That Day:

Sweet Jesus!

Okay so the hike to Pilien makes the hike to Calapi look like a walk in the park. Walked (literally!) up-hill for 10-miles in the mud and when I mean mud, it's the kind you step in and lose your tsinelas (about calve-deep to me). Then we had to cross this river 4 times before reaching Pilien. Took a total of 4 1/2 hours. I was thoroughly exhausted. Tomorrow we'll walk back to Maruglo but despite the mud I'm looking forward to it since it's down hill.

Nice in Pilien in that there's relatively no pollution (the occasional cigarette butt and candy wrapper).

People keep staring at me because i'm putik. I feel like I'm on dispaly. ;)

Okay, so here's a chance for me to demystify some concepts that were told to me prior to leaving the U.S.:

1) Kampampangans DO NOT sound like birds chirping when talking...
2) Kampampangans DO NOT yell when talking...

See what happens when regional stereotypes are mentioned but unfounded. I think we all need to visit another part of the Philippines just to get some cultural experience from our own countrymen.

For example, red necks are in bred but how should I know? I hate Texas (except for San Antonio!) sucks, lol! Even in the U.S. we have our own regional biases.

However I have to agree that Angeles City is where it's at. Didn't see much happening in San Fernando. I was told there was a huge robot in San Fernando but it eluded me. :(

Oh yeah, I need to remind Mrs. Palo that the field officers need motorcycles for Pilien.

A note on critical consciousness:

In the U.S. we take critical consciousness for granted in that a majority of the people don't exercise their rights to question authority. In the Philippines you have to be careful of what you say otherwise the Philippine National Police or military intelligence might pick you up for 'questioning' since you're acting like a 'subversive.'

Okay so some more thinking at Pilien. There's not much to do here after we've met with the tribal chief and his council (more in my field notes).

On the travel advisory to the Philippines... Just because GMA doesn't want to play Bush's bullshit game, his administration slaps the travel warning advisory on the Philippines. Bush's advisory is so transparent, his actions so visible, his reasons so apparent that it really laughable! The Philippines was safe while the troops were in Iraq and now the Philippines are unsafe because GMA recalls them a month ahead of schedule?

What is Bush afraid of? Seeing a country that isn't listening to his bullshit and kow-towing like some of the other servant-states (Britain, Australia, Japan, ie. Coalition of the Bossed Around) to the Bush administration? Is Bush afraid that the U.S. is seen as an uncaring company and the Philippines as a compassionate one? Too late, the whole world fears or hates the U.S. administration (take your pick!). To hell with Bush! What a jackass! It's no wonder that over half the U.S. citizens 'dislike' Bush. I just wish we'd have the balls in the U.S. to take back our hijacked country from the terrorists living in the White House. I can only hope that the November elections pushes Bush out of the Oval Office.

It's so nice to be happy!
Everyone should be happy!

Sex Bomb girls are the bomb! LOL!

Empowerment from a social epidemiology point of view begins with the opportunity of self-rule and choice.

7/19/04 "Back to Maruglo..."

2004-07-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

If I had a peso for every guy I saw peeing on a wall... No shame, it could be rush hour and some guy is peeing on a wall... :)

If forever isn't long enough to love you,
I'd spend another life time to love you too.

I was feeling a little melancholy today.

Okay so I think this was brought about by a bunch of Filipino R&B songs being played. The Filipinos have a very romantic culture (sometimes in a fatalistic way!).

Seeing her walk away,
Is like a sad song being sung.

My dad taught me to be old fashioned and to remember the old romantic ways and my mom taught me the importance of being independent and to understand another's need for independence.

Okay so we're in Maruglo. Going to meet with the out-of-school youth this afternoon and then hike up the mountains to meet with the Aetas in Pilien.

Like a Love Song
Her going away,
Like a love song being sung,
My heart weeps inside.

Back in Your Arms
If I can believe,
I'm back in your arms again,
Then that's where I'll end.

Good-Byes
Good-byes are so sad,
No promises between us,
That we'll meet again.

Washed Away
Rain falls from the sky,
The skies display my feelings,
My pain washed away.

7/18/04 "A Day Off..."

2004-07-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

Not much to add about this day. Spent the morning at mass at the Holy Rosary Church in Angeles and then had lunch with Mrs. Palo and her daughters and mostly answered questions about life in the U.S.

After lunch I was dropped back off at Mr. Feliciano's house and just contemplated/meditated (medicated? lol!) about nothing in general. Sounds very zen I think since I was contemplating 'nothingness' lol. I suppose it shouldn't be so odd since I consider myself a Taoist by philosophy and a Roman Catholic by religion although I think my views on religion are very progressive and would probably raise a few eyes at the least.

Anyways, a nice quiet day for self reflection and contemplation. Tomorrow is the big hike to Pilien.

7/17/04 "Lahar..."

2004-07-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

Spent the day travelling through Porac and Bacalor to examine the devastation wrought by the lahar. Lahar is a mixture of volcanic ash and water which forms a thick, viscous mud. Yearly rainy seasons since the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo have been devastating to the Pampangan region with several towns being totally immersed and buried in lahar.

Despite the devastation created by the lahar, the Kampampangans have overcome their misfortunes and have rebuilt their lives sometimes literally above their burried homes. Again their attitude to overcome obstacles and tradgedies is apparent in their daily struggle to overcome adversity.

Also visited several beautiful churches (some affected tremendously and some unscathed), made some wishes and said some prayers.

7/16/04 "Later that day..."

2004-07-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

So there were a few things that popped out at me:

1) Pangasinan cholera out-break
2) Pullout of Filipino troops
3) Resignation of Secretary Dinky

So, what's the big deal about pulling the troops out early? They were only leaving a month early anyways. Feel sorry for the U.S. troops who will be there for the net 10-years (Good morning Viet Nam!). Besides, why should Filipino blood be spilled over the terrible mistake made by the U.S. president by initiating an illegal war? So anyways, here are the facts (as seen by me!):

1) 51 Filipino troops won't make much of a difference when they leave compared to the 140,000 (and growing!) U.S. contingent already there.
2) The Filipino troops were going to leave in 30-days anyways.
3) U.S., Australia, Japan, etc... cry shame on the Philippines? Why? Beacuse the Philippines decides to not become even further implicit in this diabolical scheme concocted by the Bush administration? Kudos to GMA for standing up against them and not being bullied by the so-called 'Coalition of the Willing' or should it be 'Coalition of the Spineless lackey's of the Bush Administration? Funny that the U.S. administration should disagree with GMA when over half of the U.S. citizens disagree with the Bush administration.
4) If we ever do find weapons of mass destruction, it'll be the ones we sold them back during the Regean era if the first place when the Iraq-Iran war was in full-swing (thanks Don Rumsfeld for making the sale back then!).
5) No links to Al Quaida and Saddam Hussein based on a U.S. congressional fact-finding report. Interesting huh Dubya? I'm not surprised really since Osama and Saddam are mortal enemies since Osama is a Islamic fundametalist and Saddam is Socialist (in the loosest terms) dictator. However since the U.S. is in Iraq, 'the enemy of my enemy is now my friend...' Thanks Bush for destabilizing the world and making a far more dangerous place!
6) If it's not about the oil, how come we don't know how many barrels of oil have been taken out of the country? Where is all the money from the oil that's supposed to rebuild the Iraqi infrastructure? How come the only building lfet standing and the first building to be secured was the Oil Ministry and not the Iraqi museum where priceless antiquities dating back several thousand years were looted?
7) Morale is quite different than what the Bush administration says. Less people are joining the military, soldiers are upset that they are receiving paycuts and are forced to stay longer in the military despite their official contracts ending and having to stay longer in the Middle East because there are less troops that can be stationed there (was a 6-month tour, now it's up to almost 15-months). What soldiers would be happy about that? Particularly part-time Reservists and National Guardsmen? More chances to die for a stupid cause of getting Bush and Cheney rich wouldn't make me happy.

7/16/04 "Introduction to the Coconut Chronicles..."

2004-07-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

Saw a video on COOPS in the Philippines. I'm all for COOPS, credit unions, etc... because of their ability to increase community capital and capacity building. Looks like NATCO is a large COOP organizer in the Philippines.

Haikus will be dubbed the Coconut Chronicles - Isang Bansa, Isang Diwa. Who knows, maybe I'll save them all and reprint them!

The Unknown Farmer
Brown skin in deep mud,
Unacknowledged and ignored,
Feeding a nation.

Kalabaw Grazing
Kalabaw grazing,
The day's toil forgotten,
Peace as the sun sets.

It's What's Inside that Counts
I am a FilAm,
I don't look Filipino,
My blood is pinoy.

Where are the Aetas?
The mountain people,
Aetas indigenous lost,
Forgotten by us.

Walking the Strip
Red lights red dresses,
Flesh for rent young and nubile,
The only way out?

Aren't We All?
We love our country,
Why can't we love our people,
Aren't we all pinoy?

Survivors
My fractured culture,
Halo-halo ang lahat,
Survivors di ba?

Hydra Poltics
Corrupt politics,
Mythological hydra,
Corrupt at the core.

Status Quo
Status quo hell no,
Equal rights for you and me,
Oppresion no more!

Who Are We?
Our identity,
Forced onto us by others,
Who are we really?

Halikan
Dark hair and dark eyes,
C'mon halikan kita,
I'm not bolero!

I'm No Rizal
Rizal where are you,
My quiet inspiration,
To be more like you.

New Millenium Messiah
Modern religion,
Progressive Catholicism,
Jesus upgraded.

Dessecrated
Developing world,
The price to pay to catch up,
Dessecrated earth.

Love
Life's sweetest reward,
Love so exciting and new,
Chance a new romance.

I Will Always Fight for Freedom
Katipunero,
Brown skin shining in the sun,
Fighting for freedom.

The Same
Hey Filipinos,
From the same mother,
The same song is sung.

Creation
Sacred feminine,
Pinays your powers revered,
Creation is yours.

Exhaust-ive
Tricycle sunrises,
Jeepneys roar past in a blur,
Toxins fill my lungs.

Long Life
Singing and dancing,
Resilient against hardships,
Mabuhay to us!

Cultural attitudes:

Filipinos tend to be very group oriented compared to Americans who tend to be individualistic and who are often rewarded for their individualism.

Advantages of being mestizo raised in the U.S. = I feel hella tall when in the mall.

Stop signs do not exist in the Philippines. They are a figment of your imagination.

Went to the Center for Kampampangan Studies at Holy Angel University in Angeles City. The Kampampangans have a rich background that dating back a few thousand years. I have the book, you can read it if you want. ;)

7/15/04 "Not much..."

2004-07-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

Grabe! Another slow day for me. Spent most of my day entering in my field notes and checking email.

Cost of living here is pretty cheap. A litter of Coke in the U.S. costs about PHP 110 ($2 US) while here in Barangay Maruglo it's PHP 19 ($0.035 US). Almost finished the Da Vinci Code. That's a really good book! If all the facts in the book are correct, it has some very important implications on religious belief and thought.

Okay, so I'll write up some haikus tomorrow when I get to the NGO.

Houses here for a 4-bedroom 2 bath house in Angeles City in a nice barangay or sub-division is about PHP 3 million (~ $60,000 US). Time to start saving up and getting that dual citizenship!

Field Note URL

2004-07-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

Oops! The address for the field notes is:

http://philippinefieldnotes.blogspot.com

Ingat!

John

7/15/04 "Adding field notes..."

2004-07-14T20:16:00.000-07:00

I'm creating a seperate blog for field notes. It'll be all jumbled (is that a word!?) so you'll (ie. the reader) have to sort through it which is fine with me since my brilliance is not so easily defined (LOL!).

Oh yeah, this Friday 7/16 is the art exhibit, not today 7/15.

Ingat!

John

7/14/04 "A Fortuitous Meeting..."

2004-07-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

On the way back from Sitio Calapi we stopped by an art gallery that belonged to a friend of Arnel's and is located down the street from the Holy Rosary church in Angeles City. I spoke with the curator and one of the artists at length and discussed the visual arts program he is running. We had a few beers and we discussed Filipino politics and discussed my views about what being Filipino is about from a FilAm point of view (ie. the fractured culture, resilient culture, and search for cultural identity being difficult when Filipinos in the Philippines can't define it themselves). It was very entertaining to say the least.

I mentioned the importance of art and applauded them on their effort since for me, art is a tool and/or method for describing issues of social justice such as identification, feelings, and possibly answers. People tend to be visual and like the saying goes, 'a picture paints a thousand words.' So I'm very excited to see the exhibit on 7/15 particularly since the art will be by local Kampapangan artists. Also included in the exhibit will be music and poetry reading by local artists and of course food will be served (what Filipino celebration would be complete without food!?). I was even asked to participate by including my own artwork. I scoffed at the idea since I'm not really an artis (Mylene is the artista, not me, I wish she could go, she would have enjoyed this immensely!). Anyways, I promised to write some haiku's on Filipino life and scenes so let's see how that turns out. I'll post the haiku's at a later date.

7/13/04 "Hooray! My birthday naman!

2004-07-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'm gonna change around the format naman so it's easier to read. Anyways, this next entry is about the b-day extravaganza I had in Angeles City...

Well the beginning of the day was mostly uneventful as I spent most of the time transcribing my journal into blog-format. However from 10:00 AM till 3:00 AM the next day (7/14) my day was filled with birthday wishes, cakes, and of course food, food, and yes, more food (so much for losing wait in the Philippines!).

I learned in order to have a long life, you need to eat pancit which is important to me since I plan to be immortal. Also went to church on my b-day which I also found out is part of Filipino tradition. There wasn't many people in church which was ok (just myself as my guide had dropped me off and a few dozen other people so I took the time to pray and self-reflect and to conduct some pre-Pennance).

Well, suffice to say the night was filled with San Miguel and Red Horse as well as several different kinds of Pampangan appetizers. Every bar we went to (well, only 2 really), an amateur Filipino kareoke singer was present at one point or another which was cool. The first club was okay and reminded me of Asia SF (the tranvestite night club/show in SF) and the second was a bar called R&B located outside Clark Airbase (I liked this one more because the live bands were really good and because there was actual space to dance around, plus the female singers were really cute). ANYWAYS, was a great time, so what did I learn:

1) Comedy: Filipinos love to laugh (even if it's at my expense!).

2) Singing: Filipinos love to sing (even if it's really bad since for some being the center of attention makes up for it).

Supplemental Journal Notes (7/13/04)

2004-07-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

Here are some supplemenatl journal entries. Unfortunately I don't have a specific date for these entries. Some are serious and some are tongue-in-cheek... Anyways, enjoy!

So I learned some useful phrases:

May nobyo na ba kayo? Pwede ba kitang halikan? LOL! I'm going to get in trouble I think! ;)

Why the Aetas distrust people wearing military clothes:

I can understand now why the Aetas feel uncomfortable around the military because during the Marcos regime, many Aeta tribal leaders simply 'disappeared.' Also, three-way skirmishes between the Philippine Army, the Prolitariat Revolutionary Army, and of course the New People's Army with the Aeta caught in the middle (innocent by-standers to be sure that are caught in the crossfire). I was told back in March, 100 NPA patrolled by the village where I will be going. Although the NPA didn't cause any trouble, they were asked to leave by the village chief and the NPA agreed to. Two days later the military was in force in the area searching for the NPA. Two days after that, the military and NPA forces fought. The outcome; 20 dead (5 of them innocent civilians). Also the Aeta are constantly raided with their weapons being taken away. These rifles that are confiscated are used for hunting which leaves them very little in terms of tools that can be used to feed their families with.

So here's a concise list of hostilities in the region:

Bandits
NPA
PRA
Military

I'll add some 'psychological information' on the Aetas later...

Condensed Milk (Part 2)

2004-07-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

7/10/04 "What it comes down to..." (Choice as a tool for empowerment and increasing one's sense of quality of life.)

What it comes down to is a matter of choice, wether you have it or not, wether the options are good or bad...

- Do I stay purely Filipino or adapt and mix it up?

Somewtimes we don't have those options and we're forced into a path we can't escape...

- Convert or die?

- Steal or starve?

When we're allowed a choice then we become empowered because we become directly involved in the decision making process. We no longer feel trapped because we have a choice, because we have control.

And it is this aspect of control in our lives that improves our opportunity and perceptions of our sense of 'quality of life.'

7/11/04 "Back to Angeles City..." (Just some quick thoughts on the trip back.)

So I just remembered this, but why the heck is it important for Filipinos to learn English so that U.S. companies will feel comfortable coming to the Philippines? I'm sure I'm reading too much into this (the conspiracy theory nut that I am) when the assistant U.S. Amabassador gave a speech about how the U.S. hopes Filipinos keep learning how to speak English so U.S. companies will interested in working with the Filipinos (LOL, what type of corporate imperial dogma is that?). Anyways, found it ironic since I'm trying to learn about Filipino cultural identity and heritage and none of the speakers talked about that and mentioned that Filipinos should learn English.

Some quick addendums:
* There is actually a location in BRGY. Maruglo for cell phone service. It's located near the front entrance, just before you get to the water buffalo.

* Bummed that Secretary Dinky is no longer the Secretary to the Department of Social Welfare (she had to resign in order for the Vice-President of the Philippines to take that position ~ something about the position being traditionally held by the V-P). So much for having someone qualified for the position and instead being replaced by political nepotism.

The ride back was uneventful...

1) Stopped by a 4x4 competition which seemed odd since I usually view that as a very 'red neck' thing and very American...

2) Stopped by Nepo Mall. Again, Filipinos love their malls, gives them a chance to socialize and this (like the ones in Makati) was packed.

3) I get asked two questions over and over... Am I single and am I married? LOL! ;)

7/12/04 "The situation in Sitio Calapi..." (Very depressing situation here, tons of environmental issues, where's Ruby when I need her, this is her field of expertise...) ;)

Very depressed village with numerous public health dilemnas. Most problems are enviromenentally related due to internal and external factors:

1) Located near Clark Airbase (BRGY. Marcos Village), a source of a lot of air pollution from jets as well as the former U.S. military presence,

2) Waste management of both human feces/urine as well as standard garbage (tin, plastic, etc...) and not having a centralized location and as a result, the waste being spread all over the place,

3) Questionable water sources such that the deep water well's water integrity has been compromised by a possibly contaminated stream and that the current water source is a sediment filled stream higher up the mountain,

3) Increasing respiratory problems in the form of asthma from 3 known sources; a) air pollution from Clark Airbase, b) air pollution from burning refuse in the village, and c) prevalent smoking of adults among youth and infants.

Education is also a matter that's needs to be addressed as the educational committment at Sitio Calapi has been dwindling over time with the parents of the children complaining that their children aren't learning anything (the teachers are there intermittently and then only for a few hours). Currently the school supports up to grade 4 education.

Condensed Milk

2004-07-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

Well, hmmm... Sorry for the delay in sharing my exploits but my connection to internet has been intermittent until recently. Unfortunately this means that this first blog posting will be huge (naman!) and will be in digest format (actually most of them will be in digest format!).

In regards to specific NGO notes (collected scientific data and observations on target communities and populations in regards to strengths and limitations, assessments on current health status and suggested methods for interventions) those notes may be placed on a separate BLOG since I'm trying to keep that log specifically for that reason and as of now has become quite filled with notes on the plight of indigenous Filipinos.

The format is 'date' and then 'title' followed by a brief description when applicable and then the meat of the story. So without further adieu, here's the scoop...

7/5/04 "A Night Out..." (This was actually a writing assignment so I wrote about our first night out on the town in Makati and it was storming outside as I wrote this thus the symbolism...)

The first thing I noticed was the smell, or more exactly the scent. The scent was like the beginning of a monsoon; thunder rolling in the background, the crescendo of noice increasing as she approached, the air thick and heady and difficult to breathe like tropical humidity. I found myself gasping...

Lightning flashed as she passed by. I could feel the electricity from her body. A carona of energy so brilliant and mystifying, so dangerous and unpredictable, yet I was unable to move, transfixed by her subtle movements, the she walked, the curves of her body...

Lightning flashed again as she turned my way, her dark sable eyes revealing a spirit that was intense yet at the same time soothing, eyes that could burn away your soul or lift you t places never dreamed of...

I was frozen in place. There was no chance of leaving even if I wanted to. A downpour was starting that would either cleanse my soul or sweep me away...

7/8/04 "Musings..." (This is an attempt for me to consolidate the Filipino courses we had in Makati)

Much has happened over the past few days since our initial Philippine culture and identity classes started and only a day since it's end on 7/7/04.

I think I have a basic understanding about Filipino culture that can be described with two definitions:

1) Fractured Culture: Simply, because there is no set cultural identity. How Can Filipino-Americans (FilAms) look for their cultural identity when Filipinos (living in the Philippines) themselves can't define what it is to be Filipino.

2) Cultural Resiliency: The Filipino(a) is a resilient person, capable of incredible things simply because of his or her determination to do so and with the attitude of BAHALA NA (not in the fatalistic sense of what ever happens happens, but in the sense of being able to overcome obstacles).

I think for most Filipinos (and for FilAms as well), we need to understand and accept one another. Filipinos are Filipinos not matter what part of the Philippines they are from. We are all KABABAYANS despite our regional differences.

In synthesis, Filipinos are HALO-HALO.

Okay, machismo-time (or MACHO as the pinoys call it). There are some really cute women in both the Foundations and Fellows. Okay, there I said it and now I can go to bed... ;)

Some quick notes on the AWECA Foundation: AWECA is pretty massive in that it is a comglomerate of several companies owned by the same family that produce raw materials, own production facilities, as well as shipping facilities) and provides over 3,000 jobs to people in Angeles City. It is also important to note that AWECA is very community oriented and believes in community self-empowerment and and increasing social capital.

Tomorrow we head to Barangay Maruglo in Tarlac to meet with Aetan tribal leaders therefor I shall let Sleep's sweet emrbace envelope me... (I'm inspired by Rizal's poetic nature!!!). ;)

7/9/04 "Early morning relfections..." (Well, sleep was short so I decided to read my Anels and Demons book by Dan Brown and ended up finishing the book which got me to thinking...)

3:00AM - How can God be omnipotent and benevolent if He loves us and knows all, wouldn't He protect us?

God does love us and does protect us in one way or another, however He allows us to make our own decisions.

These decisions although painful are how we learn about life. It's a part of growing up and in a sense, is how we protect ourselves.

7/9/04 "The trip to Barangay Maruglo..." (Not much here, just a descrption of the trip to Barangay Maruglo, located in Capas, Tarlac. Of special note is that BRGY. Maruglo is the last 'civilied' settlement before the 3-4 hour hike to the sitios where the Aeta live.)

There was some major concern about the way I dressed this morning. I was looking forward to wearing my fatigues from the military because I had specifically brought them for the sole purpose of 'getting dirty.'

My host NGO was shocked by my attire and requested strongly that I change since I would stand out with them. I find that ironic since I stand out no matter where I go in the Philippines. Also, this brings about why the Aetas would react so poorly if I had worn my fatigues. Perhaps they were abused by the military here?

Anyways, I can see my other options as explained by the NGO also, such that civilians normally don't wear fatigues so the military would be wondering why I was wearing them. I suppose in this case discretion is the better part of valor and I should place my pride to the side...

Well, the trip to BRGY. Maruglo was pretty uneventful. The scenery was nice in the distance however driving through the various barangays I could see how economically depressed the area was. Never the less there was a hustle and bustle of Filipino life, carefree as ever.

By the way, Anajay at Ayala Foundation was so true, Filipino drivers are insane... ;)

Later in the day, I met a few tribal leaders and was told I would meet more tomorrow to discuss the Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) in regards to their livelihood microloan they are receiving which is PHP 27,000.00 each (3 sitios).

... Bummer, no cell signal in Barangay Maruglo...

Well, I knew I was in the Philippines when someone asked if I needed a TABO for the COMFORT ROOM (CR) and I knew I was in the province when we started eating all our meals with our KAMAY. ;)